A Square Peg living in a Round Hole World

Last post on this blog

2007-05-21T19:54:00.001-04:00

I have a new blog address: www.fourquarter.wordpress.com

It is cool, funky and especially true to me. I hope that you will comment and read on what I have to say.

See you at Blue Sky Smiling Down

I love Irises

2007-04-27T23:54:00.001-04:00

I am an
Iris

What Flower
Are You?

2006-12-14T23:05:00.000-05:00

Hi Everyone,

I hope that the holidays are special and meaningful. So I went to Melanie's blog and got this test.

Maybe you should be taking this!

Update

2006-09-22T17:45:00.000-04:00

Well everyone.

Here is the scoop:

1. I am going to training in December to become a carpenter and do renovations. That would be so cool. I have always liked working with my hand and love to build things.

2. I have been going crazy from being so busy doing things and not enough time really thinking about what I really want.

3. I know for sure, tho, that I want to go to art school and just do what I love to do. I don't care anymore if I have to be in debt for the rest of my life to get there. I can't learn without some interaction. That, to me, is quite freaky since I am border introvert/extrovert.

4. I have become unemployed; BUT, this time I have a plan to get out much quicker. Nothing like a plan to bail someone out of the rut, eh?

5. Love life is practically non-existant. Congratulations to everyone who is getting married, pregnant or found love. But I am very frustrated and did I mention I was getting frustrated.

6. I have a great set of friends I thought I would never find. Not only at RP but at Toastmasters and going out there and doing things.

7. I know I will be getting a pick up truck and motorcycle. Just not this year or maybe next. But right now I will be getting some riding boots and cowboy boots just to get me in the mood.

That's all for now. Happy Friday folks!

P.S. I was thinking about perhaps having an RP get together Next Late SPring or Early summer here in T.O. What do you Think?

my tast in music

2006-08-28T10:45:00.001-04:00

Your Taste in Music:

80's Alternative: Highest Influence80's Pop: Highest Influence80's Rock: Highest Influence90's Alternative: Highest InfluenceClassic Rock: Highest Influence

How's" Your Taste in Music?

Some Food for Thought

2006-08-19T13:27:00.000-04:00

I got this meme from Rebecca's website

How do you like your eggs? Hard-boiled with mustard, mayo and choppped pickled mixed with the yolks.

How do you take your coffee/tea? Coffee - Lotsa cream, hazelnut flavouring and Lotsa sugar. Hot tea- Black. Iced tea - Green tea, raspberry tea, with just a touch of honey.
Favorite breakfast food? Cold Pizza, Cold Cereal, Eggs Benedict with lotsa hollandaise sauce, fried potatos and fruit.

Peanut butter? Smooth or crunchy. Crunchy and has to be all natural

What kind of dressing on your salad? Bleu Cheese.

You’re feeling lazy. What do you make? When I am lazy, I always order out.

You’re feeling really lazy. What kind of pizza do you order? Pepperoni or cheese pizza from Joe's Pizza

You feel like cooking. What do you make? I get a steak of some sort. Season and Pan Broil it until ends are seared. Add Gorgonzola and stick in oven broiler until cheese melts, with mashed potatoes and Asparagus.

Do any foods bring back good memories? Going to Dunkin Donuts in 2003 on my way to see Jackson Browne in Boston. I love the donuts they are absolutely the best.

Do any foods bring back bad memories? Just my dad and uncles cutting up wild meat my uncles basement. I still dislike game meat to this day.

Do any foods remind you of someone? Funnel cakes with strawberry and icecream at Canada's Wonderland with my friend Rick.

Is there a food you refuse to eat? Fish and chicken, but I am getting more brave and starting to eat them.

What was your favorite food as a child? Spaghetti with ketchup.

Is there a food that you hated as a child but now love? Fish and chicken, pork and Beef.

Is there a food that you loved as a child but now hate? Nope.

Favorite fruit & vegetable? Potato and Tomatos, eggplants then strawberries, blueberries, lemon, orange and limes and raspberries.

Favorite junk food? Everything except for MacDonald's.

Favorite between meal snack? Chocolate Muffins or Twinkies

Do you have any weird food habits? If I order a pasta dish with meat in it, it will eat all the meat first then I will eat the rest.

You’re on a diet. What food(s) do you fill up on? Water and some sort of protein.(fish and chicken)

You’re off your diet. Now what would you like? Cheese, cheese and did I mention cheese?

How spicy do you order Indian/Thai? Pretty Hot.

Can I get you a drink? Pepsi or Peach Schnapps.

Red wine or white? Both plus rose.

Favorite dessert? Chocolate chip cookies.

The perfect nightcap? Brie, Camembert or Gorgonzola

Some more Music picks.

2006-08-12T12:01:00.000-04:00

I am thinking of doing this as a regular feature of my blog. I love music and I totally have these memories and ideas of what these songs represent.

This time it is what songs remind me of the four seasons, winter, spring, summer and autumn. Plus, there is a bonus song!

Life's What you Make it - Talk Talk: This song definitely reminds me of Summer because I feel warm breezes through the keyboards and I always feel alive when I listen to this song.

Roll with the Changes - REO Speedwagon - THis is my Autumn song because change always happens to me during the autumn season and I am always ready for a change when this song comes on.

In the Evening - Led Zeppelin - My winter song. With it's chilling guitars and keyboards at the beginning and then the lyrics and dance beat that definitely makes me want to dance thus warming me up.

Anytime - Journey - A great Spring song with lots of positive support from the lyrics that help you stay strong until the Summer comes.

Woman - Wolfmother- A new rock song that is really kicking with 70's keyboards and rocking guitars sure enough want to have you rocking out. Plus, there are some really cool lyrics of love.

5 songs meme

2006-08-01T10:35:00.000-04:00

I read Alithinks and had to do this meme.

List five songs that, when you hear them now, transport you back to a specific place and time. You can explain why, or not.

Silly Love Songs - Paul McCartney and Wings: This is how I was introduced to the Beatles at a very young age. Reminds me how my mom, my sister and I would walk to my fathers work and when we reached it my dad would take us home and the radio was playing that song.

More than a Feeling - Boston - I used to listen to a rock station and the first song that came on was that song. I was five years old when this happened and to this day I love classic rock.

If the House is a Rockin' Don't bother knocking - Stevie Ray Vaughn - I just starting to go to university when Stevie passed away and everytime I hear this song, it reminds me to live it up cause life is short. Thanks Stevie! Party on Folks!

Don't Wanna Talk about it now - Emmilou Harris - This song was playing in heavy (sorry Bill G.) rotation when I first started listening to Radio Paradise. When I hear that song it always reminds me of RP and how I fell in love with it.

In the Light - Led Zeppelin - Reminds me of the friends I had back in University and how they shone a light in my life and when I hear this song it takes me back there and the good times that were had.

Thanks Alison!

The shortest personality quiz. Anybody up for that?

2006-07-31T10:39:00.000-04:00

Your Personality Profile

You are dreamy, peaceful, and young at heart.
Optimistic and caring, you tend to see the best in people.
You tend to be always smiling - and making others smile.

You are shy and intelligent... and a very hard worker.
You're also funny, but many people don't see your funny side.
Your subtle dry humor leaves your close friends in stitches.

The World's Shortest Personality Test

You Are Indigo

Of all the shades of blue, you are the most funky, unique, and independent.
Expressing yourself and taking a leap of faith has always been easy for you.

What Color Blue Are You?

Pictures of me

2006-07-24T15:58:00.000-04:00

This is me. I rarely post photos of myself but here I am.

Got Tagged by a sweetie!

2006-07-18T12:21:00.000-04:00

5 things meme from my good pal Michelle

In my fridge:

Apple Pie
Apple Juice
Processed Cheese
Spaghetti Sauce in various jars
LOTS of LEFTOVERS!

In my closet:

14 hole DOC's
Art Supplies (just a part of it).
Atlas
boas
Clothes for shirts

In my wallet (or purse for women):

Make up (lipstick and mascara).
Card holder
Toothbrush and toothpaste
Brush

In my car/truck:

a zillion binders
Glassware
some books
some flyers
some clothes

Five people I am tagging:

Alison
EdieRaye
BHD
Joseph
Anna

Why do I always miss the month of June whenever I post?

2006-07-05T22:19:00.000-04:00

Because July is VACATION TIME!!!

Here are some pictures I have taken at the cottage. Enjoy!

This answers many of my question

2006-05-30T12:34:00.000-04:00

Your Quirk Factor: 82%

You're beyond quirky... You're downright bizarre.
You've lost touch with social norms and what's appropriate. And you're loving every minute of it!

How Quirky Are You?

A meme for you and for me

2006-05-10T13:06:00.000-04:00

10 Favorites
Favorite Season: spring
Favorite Color: pink
Favorite Time: Twilight
Favorite Food: Beef Brisket sandwich with TONS of BBQ Sauce from Montana's
Favorite Drink: Long Island Iced Tea
Favorite Ice Cream: Chocolate covered Pretzel with ribbons of icecream
Favorite Place: Montreal, QC
Favorite Sport: basketball
Favorite Actor: Alan Rickman
Favorite Actress: Meg Ryan

9 Currents
Current Feeling: agitated
Current Drink: water
Current Time: 1:11 pm
Current Show on TV: off
Current Mobile used: Telus
Current Windows Open: Too many to mention
Current Underwear: Find me then find out
Current Clothes: shirt, pants, hoodie
Current Thought: My lesson for tonights toastmaster's meeting

8 Firsts
First Nickname: Honey
First Kiss: Richard P.
First Crush: Mauricio.
First Best Friend: Linda
First Vehicle I Drove: 1980 Cutlass Supreme Deluxe
First Job: Packer
First Date: officially? Rick to see "what about BOB"
First Pet: goldfish named after my first crush.

7 Lasts
Last Drink: tea
Last Kiss: my father (on the cheek)
Last Meal: sub
Last Web Site Visited: alithinks
Last Movie Watched: Memoirs of a Geisha
Last Phone Call: my coworker
Last TV show Watched: can't remember

6 Have You Ever...
Have You Ever Broken the Law: yes
Have You Ever Been Drunk: yes
Have You Ever Kissed Someone You Didn't Know: yes (spur of the moment)
Have You Ever Been in the Middle/Close to Gunfire: no
Have You Ever Skinny Dipped: no ( :( )
Have You Ever Broken Anyone's Heart: yes, more than I'd like to.

5 Things
Things You Can Hear Right Now: Coworker talking to me
Things On Your Bed: blanket, pillows,
Things You Ate Today: Sub, potato chips,
Things You Do When You Are Bored: check my email.

4 Places You Have Been Today
my work
toastmasters
Grande and Toy
Supermarket

3 Things On Your Desk Right Now
paper
Stevia
phone
potato chips

2 Choices
Salt or Pepper: pepper
Hot or Cold: Hot

1 Place You Want To Visit
Saskatoon, Saskatchewan

Tag Jen (NWG), Sohpie T. Mishap, Edie Raye, Alithinks

HEEEEEEEEELLLP!!!!!!!!!!!! nice segway from last post.

2006-04-25T13:34:00.000-04:00

Question:

How do you creative geniuses make your blogs look so nice re: original and not looking like a cookie cutter blog?!

Happy Regards,

Yesterday, Love was such as easy game to play...

2006-04-23T17:48:00.000-04:00

I am doing a story of a historical piece for my TOastmaster's Speech ATM-B #8 from the Story Telling Manual. Here it goes.

I believe that the one of the most brilliant song ever is: "Yesterday" written and performed by Paul McCartney.

How can you say these lyrics and not feel sad?

"Why she had to go,
I don't know she wouldn't say
I said something wrong?
Now I long for yesterday."

Now I will tell you a story of about how the song "Yesterday" was written.

It all happened because of a dream. Paul McCartney composed the entire melody in a dream one night in his flat in London, England which belong to his girlfriend (Jane Asher). He woke up, turned on a recorder, and went to his piano and played the piece so that he wouldn't forget the tune and avoid letting the melody slip in to the recesses of his mind.

His first concern what that he was plagiarizing someone else's work subconsciously. So he went to different musician friends for about a month to make sure that they have never heard the piece before or anything like the piece before. Paul said, "it was like handing something in to the police. I thought if no-one had claimed it after a few weeks then I could have it."

After nobody had claimed the song as their own, Paul went and worked on writing lyrics for the song. His working title for "Yesterday" was "Scrambled Eggs."
This is a quote from Paul's Biography: "Many Years from Now":
"So first of all I checked this lovely melody out, and people said to me, 'NO, it's lovely, and I'm sure it's all yours.' It took me a little while to allow myself to claim it, but then like a prospector I finally staked my claim; struck a little sign on it and said, 'Okay, it's mine!' It had no words. I used to call it 'Scrambled Eggs'."

Paul ususally played "Scrambled Eggs", on the set of Help! until the director though the song was very annoying and threatened for Paul to finish writing the song or he will take away the piano.

Paul had claimed that the song was written during the Beatles' tour in France in 1964; however,the Beatles released two albums that "Yesterday" could have been on. It is said that the other members didn't like the song very much and got rejected during those two albums or a disagreement between George Martin and Paul over the arrangement of the song.

Finally, the break through of the lyrics came in May 1965 during a trip to Portugal. Paul started off with three sylable words: da-da-da, Yes-ter-day, Fun-il-ly, Sud-den-ly, mer-ril-y. And then rhymed the last syllable with the end of each line of the verse. It was easy to write the rest of the piece because so many words end with an "a" sound or a "ee" sound.

Musicologist in 2003 found remarkable lyric and rhyming schemes resemblance between "Yesterday" and Nat King Cole's "Answer Me". However, Paul McCartney's publicists deny this.

Some facts about the song "Yesterday"

Guiness book of World records suggests that there are over 3000 different cover versions of "Yesterday" Including: Boyz II Men, Frank Sinatra and Ray Charles.

Yesterday was played on the Radio more than 7 million times in the 20th century alone.

Muzak has 500 different cover versions of "Yesterday"

Bob Dylan and John Lennon didn't think that the song was good even though Bob Dylan recorded the song 4 years later.

MTV and Rolling Stone declared "Yesterday" to be the best written song since 1963.

The song was written in the key of Fmaj.

This song is not a typical Paul McCartney song, being sad and reflective.

When you hear a song on the radio, do you think about how a song is written, why it is written and what is the purpose? Or because that songwriter heard the melody in a dream saw the vision to write it and made it happen with unbelievable results.

I got this information from Wikipedia.org/wiki/Yesterday_(song).

Please sir, can I have some more...

2006-04-18T18:59:00.000-04:00

I went to coldbear's blog and took this very interesting test.

Here are some more photos for you to enjoy with my new Nikon.

photos to tide you over

2006-04-16T21:25:00.000-04:00

I finally bought a camera!!! it is a Nikon M70. I Plan to buy more. Enjoy!

Seeing green

2006-03-21T18:57:00.000-05:00

I got this from Crazy dust in my Coffee blog:

You Are Emerald Green

Deep and mysterious, it often seems like no one truly gets you.
Inside, you are very emotional and moody - though you don't let it show.
People usually have a strong reaction to you... profound love or deep hate.
But you can even get those who hate you to come around. There's something naturally harmonious about you.

What Color Green Are You?

What a beautiful Night last night was.

2006-03-14T12:44:00.000-05:00

First of all it was because I had to leave work early to be in Hanover, Ontario by 6:00 pm of course I miscalculated and got there at 6:30 pm.

Anyways, on the way to Hanover, I saw the most beautiful sunset I have ever seen. I wish I could have taken a picture but I didn't need a camera and this will be a reminder for me to first buy a camera and then carry it with me always as it is a treasure maker and keeper.

THe beauty of the sunset is that there was clouds right above it and the clouds were cold and grey and low but the sun was a beautiful orange and shone it light seemingly forever. It rained right before and quite mightily with all its force and gusty wind.

I almost off roaded a couple of times and I need to remind myself that I need to watch the road.

I looked straight at the sun and roads are very hilly so I would see the sun and then it would disappear only to reappear moments later.

Then after the sun had set I felt a peace that I never felt before and it was very welcoming. I think any kind of peacefulness is.

The moral of the story is that sad things happen that cover up the true and orange beauty we all possess and when things go wrong, just remember that there is always a reason for it all, even though it may not be fair.

2006-03-10T20:12:00.000-05:00

I got this from Ali's blog

Pick a band/artist. Then answer these questions using only titles from the band/artist’s songs.

1. Name of band/artist: Motley Crue
2. Are you male or female?: Girls, Girls, Girls
3. Describe yourself: I Will Survive
4. How do you feel about yourself?: Wild Side
5. Describe your ex girlfriend/boyfriend: Anybody Out There?
6. Describe current girlfriend/boyfriend: You Are All I Need
7. Describe where you want to be: Hollywood Ending
8. Describe how you live: Home Sweet Home
9. Describe how you love: Kick Start my Heart
10. What would you ask for if you had just one wish?: 1st Band on The Moon
11. Share a few words of wisdom: Time for Change
12. Now say goodbye: On With The Show

what pin up girl are you?

2006-03-01T07:49:00.000-05:00

You're Brigitte Bardot!

i GOT THIS FROM LAPEA!

What Classic Pin-Up Are You?
brought to you by

The Magic of Sleep

2006-02-10T12:56:00.000-05:00

I did something really, REALLY stupid last night. I can't believe I did this at all with all the education and experience I have and down deep, I realize that I am the biggest SCHMUCK.

I decided to take a drive for the night because I was stressed and that I like to sing to the radio. I didn't stop in Orangeville and turned around, no I went all the way to Arthur on Hwy 109 and back down south on Hwy 6 to Guelph. The empty gas tank went ON in Fergus and the gas steadily declined all the way to Acton which is when I had a BRILLIANT idea: I would wait until midnight when my direct deposite cheque came in and then I would buy gas from the vendor.

So when midnight did roll around, my bank amount didn't change, 1 am still no change, 2 am nada. I was wondering whether I would get some sleep.

At 2:45 am, The nice attendant gave me a $10 to get me back home to Brampton.

I deserve not feeling well today and this after noon, I will go back and pay that attendant.

Cheers

p.s. The Magic of Sleep finally rewarded me with my pay cheque amount.

2006-02-03T15:49:00.000-05:00

Four jobs I've had:
1. Fast Food Server and Cook:
2. Factory Labourer. Twice
3. Mechanical Designer.
4. Warranty Coordinator

Four places I've lived:
1. Mississauga
2. Brampton
3. Toronto
4. I almost lived in Barrie

Four websites I visit daily:
Actually, I don't visit any websites daily but here are some that I frequent:
1. My Blog
2. Radio Paradise
3. I-Tunes
4. Food.com

Four television shows I love to watch:
1. Barefoot Contessa
2. Everyday Italian
3. Holmes on Homes
4. Debbie Travis' facelift

Four of my favorite foods:
1. Chocolate
2. Strawberries
3. Fresh pineapple
4. Eggplant Parmigiana

Four albums I can't live without (at least for the moment):
1. U2 - Achtung Baby
2. Jeff Buckley- Grace
3. Led Zeppelin's 3rd Album
4. Pink Floyd the Wall

Four places I'd rather be:There isn't anyplace I would rather be right now, but a few places I would like to visit are:
1. San Diego
2. Paris
3. Vancouver
4. Florence

Four people I am tagging to do this meme are:
1. Who
2. One person
3. She
4. He

Rain and vision

2006-01-31T12:41:00.000-05:00

I was wondering as I was coming home from my art class last night about rain. Well I notice that when rain splatters on your windsheild, it make pretty pattersn on the windows and when the wiper blades wipe the rain clean there are also very pretty pattern like a dry cracked desert ground which is ironic.

Such pretty patterns can cause you to lose a great deal of focus on what you are supposed to be doing: driving home safely and to look where you are going. A brilliant thought crossed my head and that is: sometimes you have to get past the rain to see where you are going. You have to get past the rain to see what you are supposed to do; that you vision awaits you.

Keep an eye on the road and the sight around you because the rain want you to look at her marvel and she is a marvel but can get you ditched and in harms way very easily.

Rain is a player only if you want her to be.

I think that the rain is for the flowers, plants and vegetables to grow.

This is for 'blue' Michelle for inspiring me to be better everyday.

Up to Date Update

2006-01-17T13:23:00.000-05:00

It has been almost 3 weeks since I wrote to you. I appologize to my adoring fans (j/k) but I am glad to write.

Here is the latest:

I have stopped eating KD and the processed foods. I have also stopped drinking coffee (almost completely, 1 cup every two weeks).

I don't miss these things at all. I am eating fruits, veggies and some protien (cheese, eggs). I am satisfied.

I am taking a course on how to read. See, I have dyslexia and I can't read very well and sometimes when I write I skip lines and I skip words and spell words wrong. SO I am taking a course on how to read by steadying my minds eye.

I will be taking a course on fashion art and sewing at George Brown College. I am taking an art course every Monday nights for the next five weeks.

All this to abolish all forms of boredom. and I will be trying new and crazy things for me to cherish life and to love life.

I drink 8-10 glasses of water daily. and I deserve to succeed.

Alot of incredible things are about to begin and some sad things are about to end.

I just received my CL award in Toastmasters and hopefully complete my AL in the two years.
and receive my DTM in three.

I have been seriously thinking about becoming a tattoo artist. I like the comraderie and the work. The pay isn't too hot but I'll always have something more coming up. This isn't forever type of thing.

I guess that is it for me, for now.

Anica

You're an Passionate Kisser

For you, kissing is about all about following your urgesIf someone's hot, you'll go in for the kiss - end of storyYou can keep any relationship hot with your steamy kissesA total spark plug - your kisses are bound to get you in trouble

What Kind of Kisser Are You?

2006-01-02T17:01:00.000-05:00

My New Year's resolutions aren't really resolutions but goals I plan to acheive this year:

1. Lose up to 85 lbs by the end of August.

2. Let go of my past disapointments.

3. Move out of Brampton towards something better and brighter.

4. Not to put up with excuses from others and to let them slide.

5. Make new and rewarding friends.

6. Learn to appreciate myself and others.

7.Not to act so desperate.

I wish everyone a happy new year.

My infuriating complex relationship with KD.

2005-12-29T12:01:00.000-05:00

My head goes in circles when I hear these two letters: KD.

UMMMM my tummy is rumbling already and yet I need to think to myself (before I eat a whole box filled with cheesy goodness and butter with that awful hydrogenate oils in the cheese powder): Bad Anica, Bad.

Now I sit here with cheese (naturally made) and rice crackers trying to lose weight with an apple (usually).

But when I think of KD I think of the creamy texture. The stuff you can add to it: sour cream, bacon, ham, ketchup, more cheese, tomatoes, broccoli (oxy-moron). Just a few... tuna, chicken, lettuce? mayo?

I think of how GOOD it feels to eat it and then the guilt.

the smell of artificial joy.

It is worse with the Kraft Deluxe especially with the original and the four cheese varieties.

NO NO NOOOOOO!!!

Now my heart is racing, tummy protesting that it isn't fair.

How I love the taste and texture but I hate the fact that the pasta isn't probably what pasta SHOULD be made of.

I also think about the portion size and moderation but it is near impossible. One bite turns into two, turns in to a portion then two portions and suddenly the whole box is gone with the good intentions that went with it.

I will fill this blog with many dieting frustrations and maybe have support for people with the same predicament as myself.

:hug: and :kisses:

Happy Holidays

2005-12-25T11:01:00.000-05:00

From all the holidays, I like Christmas the best because everybody has a sense of community and charity toward one another. I like the snow that sometimes falls and notice the wonder of how it changes the landscape so dramatically. The lights on the christmas trees are always beautiful and the Christmas story is in my heart more noticibly.

The presents and the children's faces. The adults in anticipation of these. The food is comforting and welcome and delicious (sometimes). The best food for me is stuffing my mom's stuffing.

I wish everybody a happy holiday filled with joy, love, peace and prosperity.

I like Tori Amos.

2005-11-28T21:40:00.000-05:00

Which Rock Chick Are You?

2005-11-20T19:22:00.003-05:00

The Cure Shares Your Taste in Music

See their whole playlist here (iTunes required)

Which Musician (or Group) Shares Your Taste in Music?

2005-11-12T09:03:00.000-05:00

got this from NWG and Ali

Your Hair Should Be Purple

Intense, thoughtful, and unconventional.You're always philosophizing and inspiring others with your insights.

What's" Your Funky Inner Hair Color?

2005-10-30T13:06:00.000-05:00

Seven Things Meme. I got this from the lovely Melanie and the lovely Anna (Betterdaze).

7 Things I Can Do:
1. Sing.
2. Paint.
3. Laugh.
4. Make Clothing (still a beginner).
5. Have an open mind.
6. DO first, think second.
7. Annoy people when I don't think I am .
8. Flirt. (this has got to stop)

7 Things I Cannot Do:
1. Play Guitar (yet).
2. Make stuff out of wood and glass (yet).
3. Wait (anywhere)
4. Communicate well (yet)
5. Song writing (yet).
6. Take myself seriously and believe in myself (yet).
7. Follow rules. (didn't mean to copy).
8. Surf (yet)

7 Things That Attract Me to the Opposite Sex:
1. Charisma (trouble sometimes).
2. Nice Lips.
3. Nice Eyes.
4. Treats me like I am the only person in the room.
5. Being held for long periods of time.
6. Likes to have fun.
7. Good sense of humour.
8. A strong social conscience.
9. Has his own life as well as sharing with mine.
10. Gives me room to be myself and trust going both ways.

7 Things That I Say Most Often:
1. Awesome.
2. How's it going
3. Thank you.
4. Yes, please.
5. Whatever
6. Dude.
7. I love that song!
8. MAAAAN!!

7 Celebrity Crushes:
1. Ethan Hawke. esp on Reality Bites
2. I'll know when I think of them. NOt good with names just faces.

7 Things I Plan to do Before I Die:
1. Be a true artist in every sense of the word.
2. The best Anica that I can be. Always improving myself.
3. Accept myself for who I am.
4. Travel the world and spend months in a country.
5. Speak French and Italian fluently.
6. Learn to surf, play guitar, and have an adventure.
7. Live a enjoyable life and making it a work of art.

7 People I Want to do This: the people who read this.

While reading everybody else blog...

2005-10-30T12:27:00.000-05:00

I am thinking about what I need to do...

1. get myself assessed for learning disabilities
2. take a course for starting my own business.
3. Meeting all of my RP friends whom I don't even know so well. But I love them all.
4. Get out of Brampton and own an old house somewhere else (anywhere)
5. Fall in love with the man of my dreams (I have yet to write down a list) just to keep me occupied. Love comes when you least expect it.
6. Have the courage to do what I love to do. Sing and create and being a fashionista. Learn the guitar. Mel, do you offer lessons?
7. Learn to live a little and take real chances on life, not stupid ones.

I get a little whacked out sometimes and lose my focus in the process. I am not as smart as my wonderful friends but I know what I am talking about. I have to believe that there is enough room for everyone to live their dreams, even mine.

My dreams are eating away at my brain... Patience, my dear, patience. I read the blogs that I love and I realize that patience is much harder than it sound. Just saying it the word seems so effortless. Don't be decieved by the sound. Doing the deed is much harder.

Taking myself seriously is what I learned from patience. I need to believe that what I say is good enough for myself and good enough for me to acheive. Give me room to express my goals and actually acheiving them. THis is much harder, because you have to now have courage, lots of it. I got it somewhere in storage need to take that heavy box out. I can do it.

Another result from patience is flirting and going nowhere. Need to stop. I like flirting when there much trust and comfort. I usually flirt to see how far I can go. It hurts too damn much to do this much more. Patience, Patience, Patience.

I have too much love and I need to let it out. All of it. I have to give it to somebody or alot of bodies who want it. I wish I can open my heart and let the light shine to everyone. Pure white light for all to see themselves how beautiful they truly are.

As I said. I can get whacked out. and I don't even drink very much.

I love lilacs and wine. and Jeff Buckley. I want more of those things in life (music, art and love).

I ask a certain favour for all of you. COuld you send me some love and good vibes? I hope it isn't too much to ask.

kisses (platonic)

anica

A thing to remember me by.

2005-10-16T14:52:00.000-04:00

Nothing exciting has happened to me yet so I will do this quiz that I got from Yibbl (sp.)

PERSONAL
1. Nervous habits?
I sometimes pick my zits.
2. Are you double jointed?
Some parts, not others.
3. Can you roll your tongue?
Yes but which way?
4. Can you raise one eyebrow at a time?
GRRRR! Now I know I won't be a good interviewer for those job candidates
5. Can you blow spit bubbles?
They break before they become free from me.
6. Can you cross your eyes?
I don't know I can't see myself when I cross my eyes/
7. Tattoos?
My feature: Upcoming tattoos.
8. Piercings?
Naval and two ears pierced.
9. Do you make your bed daily?
Yes.

CLOTHES
10. Which shoe goes on first?
Both but ususally my right.
11. Speaking of shoes, have you ever thrown one at anyone?
I can't remember so I guess I haven't
12. On the average, how much money do you carry?
None. I carry a plastic bank account instead
13. What jewelry do you wear 24/7?
Just earrings and naval rign.
14. Favorite piece of clothing?
Nothing at the moment.

FOOD
15. Do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it?
Raise it to my mouth and eat it. no lady like way to eat the spaghetti.
16. Have you ever eaten Spam?
Yes, once then never again!
17. Do you use extra salt on your food?
only on freedom (french) fries.
18. How many cereals in your cabinet?
one, cheerios with dried strawberries.
19. What's your favorite beverage?
It was Vanilla Coke and Pepsi but I am liking water more and more!
20. What's your favorite fast food restaurant?
Wendy Smoky Bacon cheeseburgers.
21. Do you cook?
Whenever I have time.

GROOMING
22. How often do you brush your teeth?
Twice a day and three times on Sundays
23. Hair drying method?
Aired in Spring/Summer and early fall then I blow dry the rest of the time.
24. Have you ever colored/highlighted your hair?
Of course, in many different shades and colours, even tried dying it blonde and it turned out YELLOW.

MANNERS
25. Do you swear?
I have to actually try to.
26. Do you ever spit?
No but people try to spit at me :( .

FAVORITE
27. Animal?
Dogs, athough I would never eat one.
28. Food?
Cheese and pasta.
29. Month?
May because it is warm but not too warm.
30. Day
Friday.
31. Cartoon?
Family Guy. Real and unreal at the same time
32. Shoe brand?
Just do it. Why have shoes?
33. Subject in school?
Art, Music and Languages.
34. Color?
Purple, Orange, Blue and Yellow.
35. Sport?
Hockey esp. Leafs hockey. Yes, I am pathetic.
36. TV shows?
CSI all of them.
37. Thing to do in the spring?
Shop and Paris.
38. Thing to do in the summer?
Shop and Venice
39. Thing to do in the autumn?
Shop and Florida (Disney world).
40. Thing to do in the winter?
Shop and Cancun.

IN AND AROUND
41. In the CD player?
Handel's Messiah
42. Person you talk most on the phone with
Not much of a phone person.
43. Reading?
Not much of a reading person.
44. Do you regularly check yourself out in store windows/mirrors?
Only if I am having a bad day.
45. What color is your bedroom?
A very very very light yellow. Almost white
46. Do you use an alarm clock?
Never be a slave to those.
47. Window seat or aisle?
I like windows to check out the scenery but I like aisles so I can chat it up.

DUMB
48. What's your sleeping position?
Tossing and turning.
49. Even in hot weather do you use a blanket?
Yes and sometimes that scares me.
50. Do you snore?
I "breathe" loudly.
51. Do you sleepwalk?
Only when I am hungry.
52. Do you talk in your sleep?
I don't really know.
53. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?
When there are no pillows to be found.
54. How about with the light on?
When I forget to turn off the light.
55. Do you fall asleep with the TV or radio on?
Yes.
56. Last interesting person you met?
Everybody is interesting.

2005-09-30T18:31:00.000-04:00

Your Seduction Style: Au Natural

You rank up there with your seduction skills, though you might not know it.That's because you're a natural at seduction. You don't realize your power!The root of your natural seduction power: your innocence and optimism.
You're the type of person who happily plays around and creates a unique little world.Little do you know that your personal paradise is so appealing that it sucks people in.You find joy in everything - so is it any surprise that people find joy in you?
You bring back the inner child in everyone you meet with your sincere and spontaneous ways.Your childlike (but not childish) behavior also inspires others to care for you.As a result, those who you befriend and date tend to be incredibly loyal to you.

What'>http://www.blogthings.com/whatkindofseducerareyouquiz/">What Kind of Seducer Are You?

2005-09-03T10:26:00.000-04:00

to the people in New Orleans.
I will always remember
the human spirit
the human spirit
that blows away the storm.

and when the storm is finshed
the cold dies quickly
the cold dies quickly
as the human spirit warms.

It doesn't take the power
of a one man leader
a one man leader
can't beat the human spirit.

the power of the people
deserves the name Katrina
deserves the name Katrina
the represents the human spirit.

anica- September 2, 2005

What colour is your heart

2005-08-24T22:28:00.000-04:00

Your Heart is Red

What Color is Your Heart?
brought to you by Quizilla

2005-08-23T08:29:00.000-04:00

I got this from Jennn's blog and this is the most accurate but sometimes. I am also a Magenta.

The Test if you are curious

Yellows are the most fun-loving, free-spirited, energetic, and childlike personalities in the aura spectrum. Yellows are wonderful, sensitive, optimistic beings, whose life purpose is to bring joy to people, to have fun, and to help heal the planet.
Yellows can either be very shy and sensitive, or they can be the life of the party. These playful characters have a great sense of humor. They love to laugh and to make others laugh. Yellows believe life is to be enjoyed. They like to live life freely and spontaneously. With a perpetual smile on their face, they remind people to not take themselves or their problems too seriously.
Yellows would prefer not to work at all, unless their work was fun, playful, or creative. They love nature, and often have concerns for the survival of wildlife and the environment. Dogs are very drawn to Yellows and often become their best friends.

a questionnaire from Brian and NWG (again)

2005-08-16T22:31:00.000-04:00

10 Years Ago Today: I was getting ready to go back to university for my last year and I was looking for a place to live in London Ontario.

5 Years Ago I was living in my parent's house for 2 years when they moved out. Wasn't enjoying it much and I hated my job.

1 Year Ago, my ex-bf and I went to montreal to pick the rest of his stuff up. I got food poisoning and met the man of my dreams (unrequited).

Yesterday,I went to work and took the long way home. Also, I listened to 50 Tracks an interesting topic on what "professionals" look for in lyrics, melody, riffs etc.

Tomorrow I will be going to work and have a business meeting at 3pm. and I will be looking for work because I don't ever want to go through what I went through ever again.

5 Snacks I enjoy
1. Veggie Chips
2. Antijitos
3. Celery sticks
4. Gorgonzola cheese or any cheese for that matter
5. Chocolate Chip Cookies

5 Bands That I Know The Lyrics to Most of Their Songs
1. The Who
2. Eagles
3. RUSH
4. U2
5. Duran Duran

5 Things I Would Do With $100,000,000
1. Travel
2. Pay off all of my debt.
3. Pay off all the debts of my family and close friends.
4. Go to every art school to learn something different.
5. Give money to charity

5 Locations I'd Like To Run Away To
1. Montreal
2. Quebec City
3. Tobermory
4. Boston
5. Vancouver

5 Habits I Have
1. Talking to myself
2. Making too much out of nothing.
3. Please don't hate me, Picking my zits
4. Eating too much junk food.
5. Allowing clutter to accumulate in my home.

5 Things I Like Doing
1. Drawing.
2. Hiking.
3. Driving at Night.
4. Being physically Close to someone.
5. Dancing to music.

5 Things I Would Never Wear
1. Clothes that didn't fit me
2. anything too dull in colour
3. Pompadoreo Hair
4. Stockings in the summer
5. tattoo my face (permanent makeup)

5 TV Shows I Like
1. "CSI: Los Vegas"
2. "Holmes on Homes"
3. "In a Fix"
4. "The Surreal Life"
5. "Licenced to Grill"

5 Movies I Like
1. "Ferris Bueller"
2. "Shawshank Redemption"
3. "What about Bob?"
4. "Sixteen Candles"
5. "Braveheart"

5 Famous People I'd Like To Meet
1. My RP friends
2. Neil Peart
3. Bill Murray
4. Eric Clapton
5. Guy Gavriel Kay

5 Biggest Joys At The Moment
1. I am finally working
2. Making plans to become a plus size model.
3. My friends and family.
4. Moving out of my old house.
5. Driving to unknown places at night.

5 Favorite Toys
1. My cell phone.
2. My Car.
3. My CD's.
4. About to own IPOD.
5. About to own Apple laptop.

I wasn't tagged but I like doing stuff like this.

I appologize

Ferris Bueller Moments

2005-08-16T19:55:00.000-04:00

It was Saturday and I was throwing out garbage from my old house so that my parent's call sell it.

But before that, I had locked my keys in my car and walked over to my new place and get it. While I was walking I though about one of my favourite movies of all time: Ferris Bueller and I wondered if I could live like him at the age I am right now.

I see people my age resigning to the fact that they have to pay bills in order to succeed and that the fun days of youth are over.

This makes me very sad. Cause I am not old nor am I willing to give up my youth and fun. Why youth be wasted only on the young?

I see people resigned to keep their jobs they hate and enter the lottery to win their millions. I can't do that. I plan on doing something that I love to do, or else I will be planning on doing this.

I also see people talk about education as though it is the most important thing to getting a job or at least doing your job well.

I also see people with education putting others down, with inflated egos bigger than the SkyDOME. This is not how I want to be.

I believe that God is important in my life and without him I believe I would do more harm than good. I also believe that life should be LIVED to the fullest possible to balance out paying your bills and then enjoying work and make it a passion and not just work. You know?

Anyhow, I need to do some WORK in order to get back on track to something I would really like to do. I am not complaining and am very thankful for everything that I have.

:hug:

2005-08-13T10:38:00.000-04:00

This is why I don't believe in Zodiacs

2005-08-07T13:34:00.000-04:00

You are 40% Capricorn

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You are 93% Aquarius

How much do you match your zodiac sign?

But I was born on Jan. 9 - a Capricorn

2005-08-05T22:33:00.000-04:00

Everybody had fun at Reinstock. After the pictures that were written, I was impressed with how everyone had gelled into family. I never thought I could find a group of people with one desire: Ecclectic music of all types. and a community which is as safe as it can be.

People in this community look out for each other. Try finding this in the real world. You simply can't. I am glad to be a part of this wonderful community and I know that it will be the best and to take care of them appropriately and the best way that I can do so.

and it all started with a Jeff Buckley classic: Lilac wine. You see in March 2000 I "discovered" a great musician named Jeff Buckley and the fact that he is so cute is unbelievable. The song Lilac wine became my favourite Buckley tune. SO because I couldn't afford the CD yet. I needed to find a radio station that would at least play his music.

Eight months prior, I installed Winamp and played internet radio that was substandard. One day either in July or August of 2ooo, I went to the shoutcast website and found what I was looking for and it was true of the name it called it self: Radio Paradise. Ecclectic radio and what really impressed me was the synopsis that Bill G wrote at the end: "... they can take the FM antennas and shove up their... I get carried away sometimes."

THat did it for me and so for around 5 years, 3 of them being a member, I have enjoyed many different types of music from different cultures and different styles.

The real difference is the people that are a part of the RP community. They are what makes RP special.

But, let us not forget Bill and Rebecca Goldsmith, the husband and wife team who have had a vision of what a radio station SHOULD be and took risks and sacrificed alot to get the product that is loved by so many.

Thank you: Bill and Rebecca, the RP community and especially Jeff Buckley and the song Lilac Wine.

2005-08-04T18:39:00.000-04:00

I am going through some difficulties with my personal life. I hope that you understand that I will be taking a break from my blog.

:hug:

I WILL be here again. It will be for a week to a month.

Hi everyone.

2005-08-01T09:51:00.000-04:00

I am so happy that every body had a great time at Reinstock. I am going to the next meetup and I can't wait to meet everybody there.

TO Kris: I really hope you will do another Reinstock next year. I know that this is your last one but I am still hoping anyways.
--------------------------------------------
I love stuff like this. I got this from AliThinks and Googlism.

anica understands

anica is the second officer
anica is named for her great
anica is exposed is then described
anica is not yet working
anica is eligible for special education by virtue of identification as a student with mental retardation
anica is still full of love and understanding and his home is still falling apart
anica is from clovis
anica is in the room i'm not even there anymore
anica is a ring tail monkey from the group of capuchin monkeys
anica is the association of italian industries in the cinema
anica is the daughter of duka
anica is versatile in style
anica is now represented by
anica is pronounced anee
anica is an artist and a wonderful person with so many different ideas
anica is
anica is a project of the german
anica is hoping to compose scores for film and theatre
anica is pursuing the study of musical composition under the instruction
anica is politically active in the municipality
anica is considered to be
anica is the armenian national information center of
anica is convinced that there isn'ta single
anica is drawing on and she quickly puts both hands over it before it can blow away
anica is "gratchanitsa"
anica is anica and she also enjoyed the stories from astrid marianne
anica is promoting a meeting on the 5th of september
anica is going on her major
anica is a very pretty 18 yr

You should really get this book

2005-07-27T10:02:00.000-04:00

I am listening to a audio CD book called "He's just not that into you". I highly recommend it to all the ladies out there.

It frees you a liberates you to live life to the fullest and not to sweat the small stuff.

Anica

-------------------

another questionnaire for me to fill out from NWG.

WHAT COLOR ARE YOUR KITCHEN PLATES? Mixed colours
WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW? He's just not that into you - Greg Behrent
WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?Don't have one; they are soo annoying
DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS?None but I would like to own a dog.
FAVORITE MAGAZINES?Paste, Oxygen, Chatalaine
LEAST FAVORITE SMELL?Stinky Fishes
WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING? What time is it?
FAVORITE COLOR? Purple, almost all shades.
LEAST FAVORITE COLOR? White
HOW MANY RINGS BEFORE YOU ANSWER THE PHONE? Sometimes I don't answer the phone at all.
FUTURE CHILD'S NAME?Teagan, Lorelei, Seamus, Sumner
WHAT IS MOST IMPORTANT IN LIFE? That you never lose your chance in making something of your self. and to make meaningful and great friendships and something more.
CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA?Chocolate Swirl
DO YOU LIKE TO DRIVE FAST?Yup.
DO YOU SLEEP WITH A STUFFED ANIMAL? NO
STORMS - Very cool
WHAT TYPE WAS YOUR FIRST CAR? 2000 Gold Toyota Corolla
IF YOU COULD MEET ONE PERSON DEAD OR ALIVE WHO WOULD THAT BE? Jeff Buckley, Margaret Laurence, all my RP friends.
FAVORITE ALCOHOLIC DRINK? Daquaris, martinis and long island iced tea.
WHAT'S YOUR SIGN? Capricorn
DO YOU EAT THE STEMS OF BROCCOLI?Nope too tough
IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY JOB WHAT WOULD IT BE? Rock star, Artist, Fashion Designer
IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY COLOR HAIR, WHAT WOULD IT BE? any colour
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN LOVE?Yes.
FAVORITE MOVIES?My fair lady, Adventures in Babysitting, Lost in Translation.
DO YOU TYPE WITH YOUR FINGERS ON THE RIGHT KEYS?Yes.
WHAT'S UNDER YOUR BED? Dresser Drawers
WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE NUMBER? 3
FAVORITE SPORT TO WATCH? Hockey, and getting into NFL football
WHAT IS YOUR SINGLE BIGGEST FEAR?Never getting out of debt. Waiting in line for the rest of my life.
FAVORITE CD? No can do.
KETCHUP OR MAYONNAISE? Mayo
HAMBURGERS OR HOT DOGS?Hamburger
FAVORITE SOFT DRINK? Real ginger beer.
THE BEST PLACE YOU HAVE EVER BEEN? Montreal, Gaspe, Boston, Quebec City.
WHAT SCREEN SAVER IS ON YOUR COMPUTER RIGHT NOW?None
BURGER KING or McDONALD'S? Neither I like Wendy's the best.

2005-07-25T20:58:00.000-04:00

I am feeling anxious over some news I got and I am feeling scared and not very confidence right now. BRRRR. I hate this feeling.

2005-07-25T16:43:00.000-04:00

I got this from Blu

A	Appealing
N	Nutty
I	Influential
C	Creative
A	Appreciative

D	Dreamy
R	Relaxing
U	Unnatural
N	Nutty
K	Keen
E	Elitist
N	Nutty
L	Light
I	Inspirational
L	Light
A	Ambivalent
C	Complicated
W	Wild
I	Insane
N	Nice
E	Eccentric

eyes (Michelle's Blog) and I think it suits me to a T=Teriffic (sp.)

THanks

and have a nice day.

Name Acronym Generator
From Go-Quiz.com

alot of pondering

2005-07-22T06:25:00.000-04:00

This past week has left me emotionally drained.

Confusion is everywhere and I don't think I can sort out alot of this stuff.

First of all Kelli is going to die very soon.

Second, I met a guy I really like online but am scared because of failure.

Third, Christianity

Fourth, Death in general.

and finally my unemployment.

Usually I candy coat stuff to help others swallow what I have to say. But not today.

Death seems to surround me everywhere and I don't know if it is permanent or not and is it catching?
All sorts of death to deal with: physical, emotional, mental, spiritual. How do we truly live if we can't see what real life is?

Life is so sad, sometimes. I wish I was more eloquent with my words but this is all I can com up with.

I won't cry about death cause that is what it wants. But sometimes I am so tired of fighting. Are there any alternatives to fighting.

We are mere human beings that are given our share of problems, triumphs, sorrow, pain, laughter, gifts.

Sometimes I wish I was more than what I am: better communicator, better friend, better daughter, sister, purpose taker.

Sometimes I made excuses for so many things in life that cause me to die (not physically).

I think fear and misunderstanding and maybe comfort and lack of change is what truly kills us in the end.

Anyways, I hope that everyone is well. So much to think about

2005-07-20T18:05:00.000-04:00

Got this from Allan's blog

a-age- 34.
b- band- The Who
c- crush- The guy from the Listerine Pocket Paks Commercial. I blush when I see him
d- dads name- Djuro
e- easiest person to talk to- my friend Jane
f- favorite ice cream- Moose tracks from Kawartha Dairies
g- gummy bears or worms?- Worms
h- hometown- Brampton Ontario
i- instruments- Clarinet and keyboard, vocals and drums.
j- junior high- Centennial Senior
k- kids- none.
l- longest car ride ever- Brampton to Boston Thru Quebec and Gaspe.
m- moms name- Danka
n- nicknames- Ophelia,
o- one wish- that I lose weight.
p- phobias- Mosquitos, they just love my blood.
q- quote from you- "Don't go there dude."
r- reason to smile- I am alive and there is still so much potential to life.
s- song u sang last- Cloudbusting - Kate Bush.
t- time you wake up usually- 10 am
u- unknown fact about me- I only had 3 boyfriends.
v- vegetables you hate- canned veggies
w- worst habit- Eating Junkfood and impulse buying
x- Xperience (Happiest) - tie: going to Sudbury for an interview and driving to Boston to see Jackson Browne.
y- years since u been to a religious/spiritual place- 3 wks ago.
z- zodiac sign- Capricorn not much into zodiacs.

I am in a writing mode today. Need to vent with a lovely poem.

2005-07-20T17:58:00.000-04:00

Are you tired
of living 9-5?
because I am
trying to get out.

Not easy, very tough
I will be brave and bold
and I can't spell anymore
So excited I am.

I am not there yet
almost at the peak
of the Himelayas
but I am climbing.

To keep me strong
to stay in shape
for what lies ahead
need serious focus.

The toughest road
is usually before
a triumph I haven't
experienced before.

My flag is purple and orange
facing up to my demons
of yellow and blue.
killing them grey.

I am tired
but got to keep
on trying to
salvage my stakes.

anica

I don't know about this... I feel like its going too fast.

2005-07-20T17:36:00.000-04:00

I met a guy online and I don't know what to make of it. I feel really scared but I feel good too. I don't know why. Had always bad relationships with the opposite sex and I don't know what to make of this one happening. I really like this guy and he seems really nice.

I keep say I alot because can't get inside to admit that I am attracted to him. Oh well.

See you sometime. I think i made sense there. or did i?

2005-07-07T15:07:00.000-04:00

Well I had to take it. I like silly but true stuff like this. But violet is not my favourite colour. Cheers. Had a wonderful day on Tuesday. I had an inteview in Sudbury. That was the highlight of my life esp. when I had moosetrax icecream. That was something to savour.

Independence Day

2005-07-04T11:45:00.000-04:00

I would like to wish all my American friends a blast on July the 4th. It is has a special meaning for me like no other day. For some reason this day brings me peace and I can't understand why. It brings me to thinking about potential and doing what is right. It is more than just a day, but a reminder to see the big picture.

Independence Day

My life as a marble slab
was there to remind me to
take chances on making mistakes
and to reclaim my shape and purpose.

And with fear I trembled
To overtake this shapeless mass
to sculpt a shape that I can handle and make.
To create a masterpiece that I must fight for.

Fear is the only enemy with belief and courage.
I will fight this because I lost to it before.
The challenge is lifelong but I know what to do.
Create a shape that will help me win my battles with it.

And from knowledge and techniques
Will help you choose and form
What your greatest desires are
Which are not carved in stone.

Truest meaning are hidden in marble.
Truest beauty is hidden in an ugly mass.
You fight with an army of chisels and buffers
To create your life's intents and beliefs.

july 4, 2005

Happy Long Weekend!!!

2005-05-23T12:03:00.000-04:00

I realize that most of you reading this blog are celebrating a long weekend next week.

I went to Algonquin Park and on the way to my destination, just inside it. An accident occured and there is only one get to go inside Algonquin, Hwy 60.

Waiting for Paradise.

Standing in line
On the road
People playing catch
Around me.
As I sit with anticipation
For a dream that may happen.

But not right now,
the timing must be perfect.

1 person is laid to rest on a motorbike
because a moose in anticipation
Running toward some food
that just might feed him.

The sun still hiding above the clouds.
Peeking once in a while
to see how we are doing.
Waiting in anticipation
to peek down on us again.

There is only one road
That takes us to the other side
Roads don't feel anticipation
As we wait,
For a dream that just might happen.

Anica

2005-05-06T15:29:00.000-04:00

This post is dedicated to my courageous, wonderful and real friend: Kelli. not a poem.

May peace find you. May love find your heart.
I will be your sound board no matter what comes around.

You are my hero. You face life everyday with courage, strength and honour. You have changed my life in every way.

I am so sad but I feel grateful because a bright light illuminated me and made me see another part of life I have never seen before. So thank you for helping me see what true strength and beauty is because you, Kelli, is the epitome of a beautiful heroine.

Enough gakking!!!! I should have become a professional gakker.

BTW Happy 34 birthday Kelli. I will be where you are in spirit. Anica

Here is one bad poem.

2005-05-02T10:53:00.000-04:00

Here it is for today.

I see my baby
transparently
apparently
he is starin at me.

I see the sunshine
for a little while
as rain is about
to pour down.

I take the time to
love everything
cause rain brings flowers
rain brings flowers.

the soil is something
everybody ignores
cause there is nothing
but homogenous matter.

but when the seeds
of love are added.
the true identity
of life is discovered.

I see my purpose
transparently
apparently
it's staring at me.

I see the sunshine
for a little while
as rain is about
to pour down.

I take the time to
love everything
cause rain brings flowers
rain brings flowers.

Anica - May 2

HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2005-04-28T20:15:00.000-04:00

I know that I haven't been around for a while but... Here I am at my new house, my new life and my new journey. I really am grateful for all my family and friends.
I still need much more work about moving my house but I never thought it was really my house. It was too much work for me to take care of with a full time job and clubs that I have joined.

I will now work on my Toastmaster speech number 7.

Take care. with love.

It's been a while...

2005-04-23T20:12:00.000-04:00

I have been very busy. I moved into a new place this past monday... had a confrontation with my folks about it. I feel free, I feel fine and I know I will be accepted and love my new life ahead.

I will write more when I get less stressed.

:hug:

2005-04-15T22:13:00.000-04:00

Thanks to edie and alison for their help this dilemma. :lol: but seriously a thank you goes out... Have a great evening and hopefully I will write again tomorrow.

anica out!

2005-04-15T17:05:00.000-04:00

I have a question for y'all, HOW DOES ONE GET FRIENDS BLOGS PLUS SOME CHERISHED WEBSITES ON THEIR BLOG SITE. PLEASE AND THANK YOU?

I wish I knew how to get my friends blog onto my homepage

2005-04-15T17:02:00.000-04:00

Hi all,

I am glad that everybody at [url="www.radioparadise.com"]Radioparadise[/url] is happy heathy and feeling the good weather of spring. I love spring and as Lexie pointed out in her journal entry, I have an energy or something that is pulling me towards the west with new and vibrant life ahead. I don't know when it will happen for me, but it will.

all my best to you all.

It was kind of hard...

2005-04-11T22:31:00.000-04:00

Today was sad...

I hope that you always say I love you to the people that matter and to never take people for granted.

Also to cherish every moment and never waste it. Love what you do and do what you love.

Today has taught me the best lessons of all

Spending the day with my family

2005-04-10T14:17:00.000-04:00

Hi I am here today spending a day with my two wonderful cousins. They are doing their best to keep me afloat and to let me know that I am 'cool'. OK so maybe not but the first part is the truth. I hope that I get to be like them. I am inspired by them to chase my dreams of becoming a great photographer. I saw some photos by her and her friend and they are amazing to say the least!

I am glad to be here today! They are awesome!!!

Another interesting day

2005-04-09T18:21:00.000-04:00

I had an interesting job. I packed, I did showroom chat with customers and I worked from Tuesday to Saturday.

at 3pm today I was told that I was too slow for the packing job and since I knew I couldn't go any faster, I was laid off.

Anyways, as I wrote before, fear of failing isn't about not doing a good job or being perfect, but not trying and not living life to the fullest. So I am not really sad, I need money, but I know I will find it somehow doing a job I love to do.

Anyways, until another day...

Some sad news

2005-04-08T21:32:00.000-04:00

Work today went well but I had a dream that something bad was going to happen. Not bad as in nasty bad but it is bad in a sense that it was coming for a while and now it will happen. Well, something bad did happen, my grandmother 83 passed away today. She has been a great source of inspiration and to always treat somebody well and with respect.

I will write again tomorrow.

:(

2005-04-07T18:47:00.000-04:00

Oops

2005-04-07T18:45:00.000-04:00

Today is nice but uneventful. So I will post something tomorrow.

2005-04-06T23:09:00.000-04:00

This is very interesting from AliThinks and Amber Bambaloo, too.

Accent: You definitely would know I am from Canada
Bra size: When you meet me, you will know
Chore I hate: Putting the clean clothes away, all housework.
Dad’s name: Djuro
Essential makeup: Soap and mascara.
Favourite perfume: Lily or spicy scents
Gold or silver: Neither, I like gems and platinum. I own mosty gold
Hometown: Brampton, ON Can
Interesting Fact: Male Seahorses give birth!
Job Title: TBA
Kids: None
Living arrangements: in a house but will be moving soon.
Mom’s birthplace: Small town in Serbia & Montenegro
Number of apples eaten last week: none
Overnight hospital stays: none. I am lucky
Phobias: Snakes.
Religious affiliation: With God… yes.
Siblings: 1 sister
Time I wake up: 8:00 am
Unnatural hair color: Ronald McDonald red hair.
Vegetable I refuse to eat: I love all vegetable when they are cooked.
Worst habit: Chocolate, Icecream, cookies, fast food, and many other not worth mentioning
X-rays: teeth and head
Yummy food I make: Pastas and desserts.
Zodiac sign: Capricorn in the year of the dog, but I don't really believe in Zodiacs

What a difference a positive ambience makes.

2005-04-06T22:06:00.000-04:00

It's me again and let me tell you about my day today. At around this time last night, I felt lower than the ground and throughout the day there was alot of anxiety headaches, anxiety and especially helplessness. I thought about not going to my Toastmasters meeting but I thought to myself: a promise is a promise. So I went and when I didn't finish my speech, I got a warmth and positive energy which is just what I needed. I knew what I was going to do after this; I felt I could conquer the world.

I know I am be alright. There will be problems but I will be able to face them.

I have a problem: fear of failing, this is the worst kind of fear that I wouldn't want anyone else to share. It is always trying to do things perfectly or trying to be the best all the time, failing means not doing well or not able to do things status quo.

I am trying to break my status quo but it is a hard and tough battle but I know I will win. I have to retrain my thoughts to believe that failure isn't doing the things wrong or not being a perfect but the inability to try, inability to do new and exciting things; an inability to live.

I am beating a battle that my parents have and the generations before me, I will do the right things and do the things I would like to achieve.

I will today be proud of myself for getting through a day and taking one step at a time.

Tomorrow I shall return.

Another one of those days

2005-04-05T18:29:00.000-04:00

I am off to choir today and it is going to be a see saw of emotions. I love to sing and the social aspect of the choir. I don't like the politics though and there is plenty of this. Such a shame that so much energy is wasted on useless stuff like that. Oh well I am off

2005-04-05T17:55:00.000-04:00

I started work today for a upscale woodworking shop and ironically they use MDF and Plexiglass. It was interesting. I packed black square wood blocks and then I packed orders for companies that are selling their stuff. Mara is one very interesting lady as well as Patrick. Both are stunners but they have their heads on their shoulders.

I will write again tomorrow.

p.s. I am quite nervous about my Toastmasters speech number 7 and it will be about colour therapy.